This Sunday and next, every Greek Orthodox church in America is collecting money for disaster relief back in Greece. Every single one. But the thing is, thousands of collection plates won't make a dent. They say the olive crop in the Peloponnese is ruined, that mudslides will destroy the mountains in the rainy season. The olive crop. All of the burned homes, all of the towns that are gone. The fact that it's the old people who live in the villages, and now they're alone with all of this destruction. These fires have brought Greece to its knees. They aren't done burning either, there are more of them. It's still burning.

My father's parents immigrated to Milwaukee, where a lot of Mykonese had settled, before moving south to Chicago, where the Greek population was bigger; Mom's family settled in Chicago right off the boat in 1946. They came because their villages were so ruined by the Germans and the Italians during the war, they had to make a better life, so they left. Funny thing is, the family they left behind survived. Thrived. Hell, Dad's brother went back to Greece after his divorce and started over. My whole life, I was raised to think that leaving Greece was the greatest regret of my family's life. It's home.

Now home is a place where ash is coming down from the sky like rain. I tell myself, Greece has come back from wars for centuries, destruction, more than any other country in the world. I'm giving all of my money these Sundays, to help back home. But it's not enough. Not nearly enough. I have to think of a way to do more.

Anna's leaving. And so we're ending this. This Us thing. Maybe forever. Maybe just for now. I hope just for now. But yeah. Our lives are about to change, hardcore. Not sure how. Speaking of, shit, I gotta make a huge ass to do list. I leave for Middletown in a week, and there is so much to get done. So, yeah, better get on all of that.

Maybe I can focus on that, not Anna. Since she's all that's on my mind right now.

So okay. Make a to do list for Wesleyan. New life. New things. Yeah. Focus on that.

I'm working my ass off every day. It's hard and I'm tired. But in a week, this place will be something that belongs to my family. That's worth it. Chloe's been princessing and dating every night. So much for Peter, I guess.

I went out with a girl I met at the disco, Vanessa. Pretty girl, sweet? Quiet. Riza calls her "pious." I guess. She's fun to dance with, easy to talk to and then be quiet with. She's not Anna. But, she's nice. That's enough for me.

It's all good. I'm in Greece, it's all good.

It's my birthday. I'm 18. From now on, neither Mom or Dad can order me around. Thank God. But it's not over. Not when they can still yank Chloe around like a rag doll. Gotta be there for her. I gotta be.

So, it's my birthday, but who knows? Not many. It'll be like it is every year, forgotten. Just another day. That's fine. I kinda imagined spending it with Anna. But not anymore. Maybe Mia and me can do something. If she can not get pissed at me about the sex thing. That comes up way too much.

Anyway. Happy birthday to me. I'm going to church. Clear my head.

I broke up with Anna. I miss her like nuts, I think about her all the time. Except with Mia, though even then her face pops up a bit. Was it wrong, to break up? I don't know. Hurts, though. Hurts every day. Does that stop?

And then there's Mia. I don't even have words for what the hell we're doing. I am just in her wake. Which is nice. But it's scary, too. Especially with what she wants to do. Which I can't. Can't now? Not sure. Damn it, there are so many things I don't know anymore.

My sister's got a boyfriend, and I gave her the sex talk, but who knows if she means it when she says she's waiting. My mom is being a smug bitch over me and Clo coming home, which is making me want to leave again. My dad is ashamed for basically saying that he picked getting away from Mom instead of staying close for us. It's all just a mess.

Viva summer vacation. Everybody loves it, so I better love it, too. God, how much longer until Greece?

-Cap and gown
-Money for trip, get out of savings account
-Guitar lesson @ 4 on Monday
-Lend Chloe car on Tuesday re: dentist appointment
-Date w/Anna, sort out this Sam stuff. Did they date? Weird, the two of them have a bond that is way tight. She still have something for him--or him for her? Why do I feel like I'm just the decent guy who does the right things, but not the right guy who does the decent things that any boyfriend should do for his girl?
-Talk to Redhead. Maybe I was too harsh?
-Work on judgmental streak, shutting down. Try a day without the iPod
-Hang with Robert.
-Hang with Logan at some point? Not a bad guy, why not.
-Get new swimsuit, sunglasses
-Talk to Chloe, she's been weird since Prom. A bit too happy. Suspicious.
-Come back early to Stoneybrook on 6/3 to help set up baptism.
-Spend time with Mom this week. Maybe coffee?
-Party Friday

Things To Do:
-Guitar lesson, Tuesday at 5
-Work @ Church: Mon, Tues, 6-10
@ Community Center: Wed, 3-7
-Buy corsage for Anna
-Help Clo with boutineer
-Get tux
-Talk w/Malik re: dinner for girls
-Call/email Robert, hang out this week
-Anna date
-Get new carton of cigs
-Clo to mall for hair and makeup, Sat @ 2
-Jesus Christ, have fun at Prom.

Things to Do:
-Call Dad about weekend
-Email Anna for date
-Buy new shoes for dancing
-Buy tickets to FDY concert at SU
-Call Robert (maybe Logan), hang out? Test out new socializing thing.
-Send deposit to Wesleyan
-Clean gutters for Mom
-Take Chloe to mall re: prom dress (does she even have a date yet? Doesn't matter, she will. Will I?)
-Guitar lesson w/Jackson, reschedule to Wed.

Not bad, I can get this all done, easy. Why not?